visit this blog:http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/
i read her last post...and then wrote this comment...good grief, i wrote her a book and i don't even know her. she said comments were her love language...lovin on my sister today.
Wow...well said my dear. How old are your children? How did you have the moment to think and sit and write this? I found your blog because my sister in law was reading it and said that she was reminded of me when you said you don't want your kids to be happy...she was talking about how she was proud that I often stand up for God so strongly. Ugh, I hope I do. I have two little babes, Lillie almost 3 and Titus almost 2. This is probably the hardest season of my life. My Lillie is my strong one...the one I pray I make it through with and Titus is the joy of my life. I feel guilty for just saying that but oh the battle. I feel called to keep going even though I don't always understand. Today my Titus was in the street, he had gone to the back of the house...well unknown to me he had made his way around the front again and into the street. My neighbor hollered, "EMILY!" And I came around to find him walking there in the street, saying "cars" oh geesh!!! I felt like the biggest piece of crap EVER. She didn't say much but "my heart is not beating". I sayed thanks and walked to the back feeling like a big failure. I was scared but not much, not like her and why not?! I was praying, God is there something missing in my brain that I do not react quickly or fast to things that could hurt my kids? So today I was praying for a sound mind. I feel like this mom job, wow, sometimes gets the best of me and I hope I am making a difference. Good grief, how did I even get here. I think I will now copy and paste this to my blog, lol.
I am so glad you love God the way you do...I will keep following you. Inspired that you have chosen adoption in your life. Hope to hear back from you ;)
Emily
its true, Titus did take a trip to the front of the house...I was with Lillie...she wanted to help me cut back the hostas...ohhh boy....
3 comments:
Oh Em....I feel your pain. Seriously, motherhood is the hardest thing I have ever done and it isn't getting any easier. Sure, my kids know not to run in the street and not to put their fingers in light sockets, but to parent them to be respectful (almost typed respectable..ha! Yeah, we need that too!) and honest and kind is about to kill me. To go from needing to meet their physical needs to needing to meet their emotional and social needs is crazy hard. BUT I rely on a GREAT God who sees me when I fail miserably and tells me that it will be okay. I think He has even told me "Hey, look at that crack head with 8 kids. You, my dear child, are doing a GREAT job!" Yes, there are some days that I parent better than a crack head. Those are the days I cherish. The days that I remember when I am feeling so down about how things are going. Those days are proof that I can do this thing...this wild ride called parenting. HE is my source of strength! HE is my sanity! HE is my example of how to be loving when all I want to do is scream!! It is so exciting to know that I am NOT doing this alone!! YAY!!! And neither are you!! Isn't that refreshing?!?! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!!
I know you know all this but I wanted to throw my two cents in...I know how you are feeling. Sometimes it is nice to know that you aren't alone in this battle!!
You are a WONDERFUL mama an woman and wife! (do u go to MOPS? it is SO encouraging 4 me!)
EVERY MOM has done that! AND, it reminds me daily that God will have to protect Mercy just as much once she gets to the U.S. as He will while she is in Ethiopia! Love you friend! You are doing GREAT! We both are because we haven't given up!
K
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