I haven't blogged in almost 3 years but sometimes life just requires it.  So many questions and so much going on. I am not eloquent with my words when I am putting them on paper. I am by far much more comfortable behind a mic and on a stage because then and there the Holy Spirit always takes over and I know it is never my words but His.  There is no way I can do those things. Extroverted by nature I feed off the crowd so when I write, or try to write, there is just this screen staring back at me and often times the space bar doesn't work or I get interrupted and lose my train of thought and I give up.  

Mark and I bought our sweet little Lowell St house and moved in July 2, 2007.  There were 2 bedrooms one full bath and we made that place a mighty fine home and we squeezed into all its nooks and crannies.  We filled it with as many people as its walls would allow, put as many chairs around the table as possible, and a bed on almost every bedroom wall.  We planted flowers,herbs and vegetables in every space of the yard and garden and really enjoyed that sweet porch on a sunny summer Saturday.  We loved our home.  But we started to have some aches and pains, growing pains that is. I often said if I could have just added onto it and put it in the country I would be a happy girl.  (We could note here that we are living in the country right now and my extroverted self is struglling!)  I begged God often to move us and to give us more space and He shut the doors many many times.  Mark and I would go adventuring and look at all these crazy run down forclosed houses just to get space for a cheap price. We have hit our knees to have the doors quickly slammed. Our realtor, God bless her, probably could do a TV show.  

Mark and I deleted all those stupid aps off our phones, bye bye Zillow and Realtor you are NO good for us.  And then somehow we saw a house on Wilbur. I rolled my eyes at my hubby bear as he sat on the couch next to me looking at the pictures.  We've been there before, looked and looked, dreamed and planned.  It had a big bath tub, definitely no way.   Stop dreaming and go back to ESPN or something.  But then I drove by the house one day after church.  Mark had to tear down and said as I was leaving with the kids...."You could drive by that house." so I did.  It had a flat yard and a garage and a driveway.  I had to make sure I was still in Dubuque, you don't find that in Dubuque.  I took a few pictures backed out of the driveway and was gone.  Well in the matter of about a week, we had looked at the house,visited the bank, had a plumber and electrician come the day I called to fix some little things at Lowell and put ours on the market. We decided this one was worth selling our sweet little Lowell St house for.  I couldn't ever bring myself to list my house for another, until this one.  

You know God will take you on a journey and He will use anything.  Often it is babies or marriage for us, its housing.  And it is rocky, awesome, painful and growing.  It is exciting, scary and stupid.  Just like I had encouraged students to write lists of their dream spouse in the past, I was encouraged to write a list for my dream house.  So I did.  This house, it met all the criteria beside 2 things, a sun porch and a fire place.  Those really aren't deal breakers when you ask God for a large kitchen, a flat yard, a drive way with a garage, 4 bedrooms, a master suite and He delivers.  And let me be real clear its not about you pulling up in my driveway to see the grand space we own, never for a stinking minute.  We are in a large home now and its so much to upkeep, that part is scaring me a bit.  Its about having bedroom for you when you want to stay the night, its about having a dining room table long enough to seat you and 6 other couples AND our kids.  Its about having room for my kids to play and be kids and me not lose my stinkin' mind. Its about having a place to offer to the Lord for HIS use and HIS purposes.  I want you to come over and drink coffee and tea and wine. I want you to come over and eat warm food and feel safe and snuggle in.  To taste and see that the Lord is good.  As the Israelites wondered though in that desert, God was doing something, He was preparing them.  Grooming hearts to show Himself, to bring Himself glory and not for a minute was it easy, but it was His plan.  

We moved out of our sweet little Lowell house the Monday before Thanksgiving. I cleaned it top to bottom and prayed for that family that was taking our place in it. It was so echoey in there and I cried looking out the window at my neighbors and prayed that God would bring someone to finish what we started.  And now as I write I cry because it hurt so stinkin bad.  I have been with God long enough to say that I believe I know when things are of my doing and when things are of His doing.  He sold our house, we didn't.  He provided what we like to call the Winter Chalet for our family to stay in while we sort out Wilbur.  He has gone above and beyond to care for us, but it still hurts.  The last thing I want people to think is that life is always good here is Smithville, we are just like you.  Sinners who need a Savior and daily trusting Jesus with our lives, sometimes better than others. Obviously we are not living in that Wilbur house yet, but we have a contract and that is something.  

Here are some things you may or may not know.  Wilbur is owned by a repo company and my heart is sad for the family that had to leave it, it was their home, just like Lowell Street was ours.  We couldn't even put an offer in on Wilbur until our house was sold.  That's walking in faith people, we had no idea where we were going but we had peace about taking the step.  So we did and we had so many offers for our family of 6 to stay while we sorted things out.  We countered on the price I can't even remember how many times, I think it went on for 2 weeks.  We have sought advice and wisdom and prayed our way through this ugly process and finally we got a contract.  There have been continual hoops with this place, loan types and switching mortgage companies, utilities and crazy paper work.  This has been a far cry from any normal home selling and buying process.  We are supposed to close on the house on February 10 where we will finally own the house, dance a jig and then bust our tails to paint up that crayola box and so much more. This week is an appraisal and if it appraises we will be almost done, but after yesterday's basement water works there is a chance our appraisal may not come back well and we will have to start over with the whole offer bit.  We turned the utilities on this week, the gas and electricity in preparation for the appraisal but the water that wasn't drained from the pipes, decided it wanted to be free yesterday.  As I walked into the house and heard that sound, you know that spraying sound (if you aren't familiar good for you) and I just had to walk away.  Mark was there with the realtor and there really was nothing I could do and I would probably run my mouth so I had to walk away.  I walked through the house and turned on lights that I hadn't been able to up to this point, and just prayed.  God is this your plan? What do you want us to do? Please give us wisdom, this is all so crazy and with that came the peace.  My mom once told me when I was in a relationship in college that when its the right one you don't have to make it work, it just does.  I don't feel like we are trying to make Wilbur work, I feel like we take a step in faith and God comes through.  It hurts though, not going to lie but He always comes through and until He slams the door, we will just keep walking through.  


This journey has taught me MUCH about trusting the Lord.  Do I really trust Him or do I say that I trust Him?  I have had to put my money where my mouth is and literally walk out what I preach and teach.  I love that stinkin (literally there has been food in the fridge since June) house, like really love it.  When we leave I get sad, I just want to roll up my sleeves and get busy making it a home so you can come visit, so my kids have some grounding, so we all have some grounding.  Through this process we have seen the love of the Lord and His provision in incredible ways, people who have come along side of us and have said "we can help you!" or "we want to help you!".  Someone even said to me yesterday, a lot of people love you and want to help.  That chokes me up, because in this process the love of our friends, the love of His people, the love of GOD has become super tangible.  So, though it hurts like the dickens sometimes and I miss home, I know God is preparing a place not only in heaven but here on earth too and I am thankful for all He is doing in the seen and unseen.

Thanks for praying with and for us.  We appreciate it so much, please keep it up.

 Lamentations 3:22-26

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
    his mercies never come to an end; 

 they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness. 

 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
    “therefore I will hope in him.”

  The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
    to the soul that seeks him. 

 It is good that one should wait quietly
    for the salvation of the Lord.