Look at me, fired up and blogging about it!

I am finding myself in such a weird place in life right now. The mother of 2, one currently living visibly before me each day and another on the way January 28. This of course is something that most girls dream of, a nice warm home, a handsome husband and kiddies. Yet one thing that I feel a deep longing for is a deeper relationship with the Lord Jesus. Sometimes I wonder and I ask myself “Am I missing Him somehow, have I ignored some call He has place on my life to feel this deep longing?” Or possibly am I just being a dramatic woman? Me? HAHA! I don’t think so. I think that He places deep desires within us and only He can fill them. My husband who is beyond amazing can’t fill my deep longings and my beautiful crazy daughter can’t fill those longings either. I need to be one with the Lord Jesus then and only then will I feel content in my home, with my hubby and with my children. I pray that God will take me to that place where I am full of His love and contentment in Him. I pray that I will be the amazing wife and mother that my family deserves and that the Lord Jesus desires me to be. I know that God has placed huge calls on my life. My desire for speaking and singing just doesn’t go away, it just changes. Somehow I still see myself working to show people God and His truth and to bring Him to a place where they see Him, long to know Him and desire Him. I’m not sure what that completely looks like yet, but I know it has to start here at home with my baby girl.

A couple of days ago I saw a news segment about Gardasil, the vaccine they say will protect women from the disease HPV which leads to Cervical Cancer. First of all that vaccine makes me so mad and every time I see the commercials for it I want to just scream. Maybe they should tell you that it only protects from 4 types of HPV, which only touches the surface of the number of the HPV viruses. Moms are getting their daughters vaccinated and I believe this just grants these young girls all the more permission to be promiscuous. Make a vaccine for the most contagious STD and make the world a better place. And the sad part is that people are being deceived into believing that this is something good for your daughter. People don't know the risks involved and seeing a great commercial helps them feel like yes, I want my daughter to be ONE LESS! How about wanting your daughter to be ONE LESS female with emotional struggles that has pushed them to be sexually active outside of marriage! I got so fired up after watching that news segment; mothers were calling in and sharing stories of about their daughters who were effected greatly by this vaccine, including paralysis! There have been 75,000 reports of adverse side effects of this vaccine...75,000!! Come on America! When are you going to wake up and realize that people are more important than the money you are going to make off of some vaccine! That the girls who are worried about HPV have deep emotional needs too and that is something that no vaccine is going to fix! When is a strong value going to be placed on women, on young girls? When is someone going to look them in the eye and say that you don’t have to have sex or strip off all your clothes to be someone? When is someone going to share with them that there is Love out there and it is free? It isn’t going to cost them their cervix or lead them to death, it is going to bring life and peace. Joy and a deep fulfillment! When I have these thoughts I am reminded that God is so real and His passion and call on my life is so real. My question just remains…God what do you want me to do about it? Help me God teach my baby girls about you, help me place huge value in You first Lord Jesus and then in their lives. God please help me show them that….then I guess I can worry about the rest of the world…in the meantime I will just be burdened for it.